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Romancing the Stone: A Crystal Perspective on Love

We are driven by design to connect with each other emotionally and sexually, to be in conversation and collaboration.  When properly aligned, love can stream in and out of us like our breath, without question or trial. But that’s a rare spot to be in, isn’t it?

Rumi writes that, “your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  

We all indulge these barriers. The trappings of our modern lives convolute what should be effortless. It’s a tall order to flourish in our relationships when we’re barricaded behind frivolities and anxieties, and when we’re quite simply off-balance.

In order to truly open ourselves to love, we’ve got to clear our cobwebs. If you don’t have any crystals in your life, that’s a good place to start. These atomic formations are profound, and were once described by Nikola Tesla as “living beings at the beginning of creation.” They are complex stores of their environments, and respond to our most subtle energetic frequencies.  

Quartz is used in almost every modern form of technology you can think of, from phones to ultrasounds. They even keep our watches ticking on time! Because they possess such high vibrational intelligence, they are gifted absorbers, and aid in clearing negative energies, balancing our chakras, and reconnecting us with our essential wellbeing.  

Coupled with an articulate intention, a daily crystal meditation—even a short one—might be just the thing to stabilize your natural ability to attract and enjoy love in your life.

There isn’t one definitive way to benefit from the power of crystals. It’s personal and depends on your own inclinations. You can hold a crystal during your morning meditation. Your Reiki practitioner might place stones for you to balance your energy fields. Some wear their crystals as a powerful adornment, or arrange them around their household to clear negativity and stimulate positive flow throughout rooms. When using crystals, our intentionality must be the key component. They are our partners, not our servants.  Anyone can put a piece of Rose Quartz around their neck, but if you infuse that stone with the intention of opening your heart and feeling the generosity of love, it might actually stimulate receptivity and connection with your companions.

The short version is: your crystal is listening to you and everything around you. So, when you interact with a stone, set a clear intention, and commit it to a purpose. Articulate this purpose clearly in your mind’s eye, or speak it out loud if that enhances your dedication.

Of course, a crystal practice is not a miracle cure for all that ails us. Like a good teacher, a crystal doesn’t tell us all the answers, but simply opens us to the right questions.

Years ago, during a particularly disconnected personal era (creative, romantic, physical, you name it) I found myself in a neighborhood store, holding a rust-colored, raw Carnelian. It felt craggy and ancient and filled me with an immediate sense of worthiness. Though I knew nothing of its properties at the time, I wouldn’t put it down: it knew me. I later learned that Carnelian is closely associated with the First (Root) and Second (Sacral) Chakras. It is a potent stimulator of physical vitality, and aids in restoring clarity, passion, self-trust, and alleviating co-dependency.  It all sounded pretty familiar. What is that old cliché about our pets? Well, our crystals probably choose us, too.

For love to really flow in our lives, we need to be healthy all over. There are countless powerful, effective crystals that can benefit you from top to bottom. Everyone has their favorites.

Here are a few of mine, listed alongside their corresponding chakras.

For the Root Chakra (located at the base of our spines)-  Carnelian enhances fertility, invigorates the organs, and promotes vivacity. Black Tourmaline encourages practicality and groundedness, dissipates anxious or negative attitudes, and disrupts electromagnetic stress.  The Root Chakra governs our physical identity, sense of security and stability, and reproductive systems—all pretty fundamental to the development of strong relationships (both with ourselves and others). It all grows from the roots.

For the Sacral Chakra (located below the navel)-  Red Jasper stabilizes emotions, elevating our sense of nurture and calm. Orange Calcite encourages positive energy around sexuality, inspires fresh perspective, and opens a flow of creativity. The Sacral Chakra corresponds with our libido, emotions, passions, sensuality and creative output.  

For the Solar Plexus Chakra (located between navel and breastbone)- Citrine is a powerful cleanser, instilling confidence and opening energies that attract abundance and fulfillment.  Citrine can also be used to cleanse other stones of residual energies. The Solar Plexus Chakra is our house of self-esteem, decision and positive action. When our self-esteem is in a healthy state, we are most likely to mutually benefit with our partners.   

For the Heart Chakra (located at the center of the chest)- Rose Quartz is the stone of unconditional love, supporting inner-healing, bolstering empathy and romantic connections.  Everyone should have this heart-opener. The Heart Chakra is our center for compassion, linking us into the universal flow of love. A well-balanced Heart Chakra supports our inner calm, acceptance, and generosity (inward and outward).  

 For the Throat Chakra (located between our collarbones)- Amazonite clarifies intuition, promoting truthfulness in communication. Turquoise- mitigates emotional fatigue and depression, unveils inner wisdom, and aids self-expression. A healthy Throat Chakra supports creative expression, bridging the inner and outer worlds by opening our ability to relate to one another truthfully and thoughtfully.  

For the Third Eye Chakra (located between our brows)- Amethyst is naturally calming, great for ironing out emotional extremes. It brings balance and serenity, and clarifies causality. Fluorite is an aura cleanser, improves intuition and connects us into our spirituality. The Third Eye Chakra is our center of intuition, our pathway to spiritual and psychic information. When healthy, a sense of order and tranquility flows here.  

For the Crown Chakra (located at the top of the head)- Clear Quartz is as old as time, and is arguably the most powerful crystal for elevating our spiritual awareness and manifesting our intentions. If you only have one crystal, this might be the one to have, as it is a brilliant conductor. The Crown Chakra is our field of consciousness, our connection to all universal energy, and therefore each other.  

Imagine all these energetic fields balanced in harmony. What that would mean for our relationship to ourselves, our families, friends and lovers, and Our Universe? One thing I know for sure: we can use all the help we can get. So, go seek your crystal. Be open. And if you hear one calling, answer. It might just remind you of something you once knew, but forgot along the way: you are love.

 Note: Because they are such naturally gifted absorbers, crystals carry a lot of residual energy, and must be frequently cleansed and recharged. It is important to learn about your specific crystals before choosing a cleansing and recharging method, as not all are alike.   

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